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Say What you Mean and Mean What you Say

As we reflect on the year that has been, whether you’re an experienced yogi or a beginner, it is interesting to ask the question “How do we know we are progressing in our yoga practice?” I asked this question at the start of one of our classes before the break and there were some great responses: “when the body and mind is more steady and calm” or “when I am able to do a more advanced pose”. All valid and correct responses.

Sharon Gannon of Jivamukti yoga says that you know you are progressing in your yoga practice when “you can say what you mean and mean what you say.” In other words, your inner world and your outer world are honest reflections of each other. When I first heard this I started bopping to the song “Say what you need to say” by John Meyer… it’s all about speaking your truth. When your thoughts, words and actions are in harmony – that is your yoga practice progressing!

The term ‘Yoga’ is translated as ‘union’. This true unity of mind, words and actions can be a profound reflection of how deep your yoga practice really is. Sometimes we think of real yogis to be those who can do advanced postures with ease and although this may certainly be true, it is not always the case.

When we start to live our lives less in ignorance (avidya) and with greater awareness and mindfulness, you can see yoga working within you. Awareness and mindfulness in how we think, speak and act. Are your words a reflection of your thoughts? Do you speak your truth? Are you honest and sincere? When we live less in ignorance, we tend to speak our truth with far more ease which then leads to more honest and sincere actions.   And when I refer to ignorance here, it is not in reference to ignorance of knowledge. It is ignorance of our true Self. Click here to read more about avidya.

Have you ever had those “light bulb” moments? You know, the “ah ha!” moments of self-realisation? Something just suddenly makes sense. And when this internal shift happens, it usually draws you to take some sort of action. In my own life, I had a few “ah ha” moments in my teens when I started to consciously realise that when I ate meat, I was actually contributing to the suffering of other living beings. I started to make this connection as my conscience became more in tune with life, suffering and death. After seventeen years of being a vegetarian, I had another “ah ha” moment only six months ago where I realised that consuming dairy and eggs was also contributing to horrific acts of suffering towards animals. With this knowledge of truth, I had no internal choice but to take action and stop consuming these products. For me, my thoughts and actions became even more united. One thing I started to realise more recently is that although my thoughts and actions were in harmony in this particular case, my words were very few. I rarely spoke about animal welfare or the reasons why I was vegetarian for so many years unless of course I was asked directly and would always give a brief response. It is more recently I have become more confident to speak more honestly about these reasons and express them more fervently. I am finally starting to feel my words are beginning to express to my inner world on animal welfare issues – I feel more compelled to “say what I mean and mean what I say”.

So what is it for you? Is there an experience where your thoughts, words and actions are more in harmony perhaps as result of a more regular and refined yoga practice? How do you say what you mean and mean what you say?

When we finish each yoga class, we say “Namaste” to one another accompanied with Anjali Mudra (hand to the heart in prayer) and a small bow of the head. Namaste has slightly different translations but essentially means “the light/divine in me greets/salutes the light/divine in you”. What a beautiful and profound greeting! If these are the words we say to one another, do our thoughts genuinely mirror these words? What about our actions?

Think about your daily greetings…G’day, take care, be well, goodbye … do we honestly mean these deep down when we say them? Do you honestly feel it deep inside when you say to your friend or acquaintance, “take care”?

Bhakti yoga is translated as “devotional yoga”. It is about seeing everyone and everything as an image of God’s (or the divine) creation. If I greeted each person each day with that deep sense that I was greeting someone who is an image of the divine, how may my words or actions be any different? More mindful perhaps? More sincere?

In many Arab cultures, people greet each other with words like “Salam allah laykum” which means “peace be with you” or “Alla Makoon” which means “may God be with you”. In fact “goodbye” is the shortened version of the Old English “God be With You”. It is easy to be unaware how deeply engrained spirituality actually is in our culture… maybe we can try and say what we mean and mean what we say with the next person we happen to come across after reading this blog post. And start to consider the question “how do I know that my yoga practice is progressing?”…

 

“All things share the same breath – the beast, the tree, the man, the air shares its spirit with all the life it supports.” – Chief Seattle

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Obstacles to Happiness: The Kleshas – What is causing you suffering?

We all want to be happy! So what is it that prevents us from existing in a state of happiness? Patanjali says it is because of our ‘Kleshas’ (translated in Sanskrit as ‘poisons’) which are basically our obstacles to happiness. Patanjali describes 5 Kleshas:

  1. Avidya (ignorance)
  2. Asmita (Egoism)
  3. Raga (excessive attachment)
  4. Dvesa (excessive aversion)
  5. Abhinivesha (fear of death)

Last month I talked about the root cause of all the kleshas: Avidya (ignorance of our own nature). Let’s explore the remaining four kleshas that Patanjali asks us to be aware of.

Asmita

Asmita quite simply is Egoism or “I-am-ness”. It is basically the identification of ourselves with our ego.

We tend to create a self-image of ourselves that we believe is us, but in fact, it is not us. This self-image can contain both external (eg. “I am poor”) or internal (“I am a bad person”) false projections. The more we feed these false projections, the more we become trapped within the projections that we have created of our life.

One of the biggest misconceptions we have is our tendency to view ourselves as separate to other beings. If we actually really believed and lived our lives as though we all share the same nature as all living beings, I think our projections of ourselves would be quite different.

Here is a short ‘label’ exercise to help you explore some projections you may put on yourself or others:

Grab a pen and paper and list some of your observations on these labels:

  • Labels you tag onto yourself
  • Labels your mind tags onto people, things, food, events, actions, dress codes, behaviour
  • Comparative labels (how you compare your labels with those of others…for eg. “I’m better than…. I’m not as good at…”)

Now without judgement, just observe this list you have made and carry your awareness of asmita (egoism) with you in your daily life… observing these imposed labels. How often in just one day do you find yourself labelling, yourself, others and things?

As a result of asmita, we create the next two kleshas (obstacles to our happiness): Raga (excessive attachment) and Dvesa (excessive aversion).

 

Raga

Raga is excessive attachment to pleasurable things and is based on the assumption that this pleasure will contribute to your everlasting happiness. But this is entirely untrue! Excessive attachment to pleasure only causes us more suffering!

If I asked you to hand me your mobile phone (or any other technological gadget for that matter) and said you couldn’t have it back for a day (or even an hour!), how does this make you feel? What is your initial reaction? We may even get to a point where we convince ourselves that we cannot live without certain things…”I can’t live without my phone!”

When something brings us pleasure, our brain wants to repeat that experience over and over. We then expect the things that bring us moments of pleasure (over and over), to make us happy! The possession of objects (eg. your phone) can become very important to us, even indispensible, whatever the cost. This may result in future unhappiness. Perhaps intellectually we know that seeking happiness outside ourselves doesn’t work, but that doesn’t stop us from acting as if it did…. How many of us can honestly say that we live without raga in our lives?

So what is it that you’re attached to for pleasure? Latest gadget? Car? Or are you attached to knowledge or even gossip? We become so habituated or identified with the things we love or are attached to, that we rationalise or don’t question our desires.

I am reminded of a quote from the film ‘Fight Club’ where Tyler Durden says “the things you own, start owning you…it’s only after we have lost everything that we are free to do anything”.

So what are your ragas? What is it that you feel that you cannot perhaps “live without”? Observe them… maybe start to make some small changes in your daily life to lessen this excessive attachment and have more control over your desires.

 

Dvesa

On the flip side, our egoism (asmita) not only creates excessive attachment to pleasure, but it also creates dvesa which is excessive aversion or repulsion. When something displeases or distresses us, this can lead to aversion or hate.

If we are in disharmony within ourselves, this creates a chain of negativity. We start creating this way of being that forms our reality – and we become bound by our own suffering.

You know how one thing can put you immediately in a bad mood? For example:

  • Your favourite meal at a restaurant is no longer being served
  • Your favourite yoga teacher has been replaced by a teacher you are not familiar with
  • Your favourite sport team loses a game
  • Someone walked by you and was rude and unapologetic
  • Your partner is rushing you to be ready on time
  • You are in the company of someone who you struggle to get along with
  • And plenty more!

The above examples give you an idea how we can allow our attachment to having things the way we want them (having our preferences catered for) to get in the way of our happiness. When we are confronted with something we don’t like or don’t want, how do you react?

 

Something to think about:

When you are challenged out of your comfort zone, perhaps at work or home life… or even a difficult yoga pose that you don’t like…how do you react to this?

 

Being taken out of your comfort zone is a great opportunity for growth!

To step out of a state of aversion (dvesa) is to step out of your ego’s comfort zone. Being pushed around by the ego (I want…I don’t want…) is a vicious, never ending cycle which creates suffering. When we are in control of our emotions and we are freed from their impact and we can live within the middle path (striking a balance between excessive attachment and aversion), we can then relieve our suffering! You have the power to break the cycle!

 

A short exercise for relieving raga and dvesa:

Identify one habit and make small changes to change it…

 

Abhinevesa

The fifth and last obstacle (klesha) that Patanjali describes is Abhinevesa which is translated as “fear of death” or “clinging to life”.

Whether we know it or not, this subtle fear of death is one that resides in each of us. We can pick up on this fear in the way we speak. For example, when we farewell a loved one who is travelling, we often say “be safe!” as we deep down feel afraid of losing them. Another example is the concept of ‘Bucket lists’… thinking of a list of things we need to do before we die. We rush ourselves into living life knowing that we are running out of time.

Many psychologists and philosophers believe that this ‘fear of death’ is the one thing that we all have in common – whether we openly admit it or not. Abhinevesa can take the form as:

  • A midlife crisis
  • Extreme religiosity
  • Fear of the unknown
  • Any form of neurosis!

Patanjali suggests that we calmly accept that death is a natural process and the opposite side of the same coin that carries life. Death is a natural process and to fear it over life creates only more fear and more suffering than we need!

So how do we overcome Abhinevesa?

  • Live in the present moment – enjoy the HERE and the NOW!
  • Remember that everything is as it should be
  • Accept that the life we are living is a sacred gift

 

A Quick AAAA Recipe for what to do when any of the Kleshas arise:

  • Attention:

Pay attention to what arises in your mind. Observe, observe, observe! Notice your desires, aversions or if a klesha arises.

  • Acknowledge

Acknowledge what comes up. Don’t deny or push it away. Admit to yourself what it is that has come up for you (eg. Your cravings or aversions, your ego labels…)

  • Allow

Allow them to come and to go. Try not to struggle or prevent them. Instead, imagine your mind as an indoor/outdoor vessel. Keep both doors open and try and let go of your obstacles rather than fight or give into them. Allow them to come and go!

  • Accepting

Kleshas are part of being human! We all have days when we are full of aversion or desire or ego… the idea though is not necessarily to be free from them (although that would be nice!), but rather to learn to coexist with them and not let the kleshas control or define you.

 

And of course the ultimate way to relieve the obstacles to your suffering is: Practice yoga!

 

 “Practice, practice, all is coming” – Pattabhi Jois

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Obstacles to Happiness: The Kleshas… A look at Avidya: the root cause of Suffering

So it can be said that we all have two main goals in life:

1) To be happy
2) To avoid suffering

And this is true of all sentient beings! We all desire these two things in our life. In fact we all desire the goal of yoga – Samadhi…pure consciousness…a state where suffering doesn’t exist and we simply exist with awareness.

So what is it in life that prevents us from experiencing this state of Samadhi? In the yoga sutras, Patanjali describes five obstacles to happiness. These obstacles are called ‘kleshas’ which in Sanskrit is translated as ‘poisons’.

The Five Kleshas are:

1) Avidya (ignorance)
2) Asmita (Egoism)
3) Raga (excessive attachment)
4) Dvesa (excessive aversion)
5) Abhinivesha (fear of death)

Let’s explore avidya closely as it is the root cause of all the other kleshas.

When we refer to avidya as ignorance it does not mean ignorance of content knowledge or skills. It refers to ignorance of our own nature. Avidya is a misconception of our true reality and is described as the root klesha which produces the other four. Avidya is our lack of awareness of our true nature which then disconnects us from Truth or not knowing the way things really are.

We are all very good at developing a false understanding of our true nature! The way we talk about ourselves is a good reflection of this. For example, we may catch ourselves saying things like “I’m stubborn, I’m a Taurus!” or “I’m this way because my mother is like that…” or “that’s just the way I am!”. We start becoming attached to our personality and mistaken it for our true identity. This is avidya – ignorance of our true nature.

Patanjali describes four ways that we can experience avidya.

1) Mistaking the impermanent for the permanent

We tend to live our life as though we believe we are immortal. If we lived and remembered each day that life will end, we would worry less! We also deceive ourselves into thinking that there are certain things in life that we can’t live without. But we always manage to re-adjust. For example, a smoker, drinker or sugar addict would claim they couldn’t possibly live without a cigarette, alcohol or sugar in their diet! But this is simply untrue. We live with this deception that we can’t live without certain things – mistaking what is impermanent for something permanent.

2) Mistaking the impure for the pure

This can be seen as ‘mistaking a lie for the truth’. Sometimes we can convince ourselves that something is true, when deep down we know it is not. I often think of a line that George Costanza from Seinfeld says to Jerry who is about to sit down for a lie detector test. He says “It’s not a lie if you believe it”. In other words your thoughts can become clouded if we habitually delude ourselves to perceive the world a certain way. We begin to believe our own delusions of truth! Our truth (that which is pure), now becomes impure.

3) Mistaking pain for pleasure

A lot of things give us immediate pleasure but they often imply we will experience some form of suffering in the long term. Think of eating fast food or enjoying the indulgence of pleasures like sweets or chocolate. You grow to enjoy and even crave the way this food, but by no means does this food offer pure nourishment to you! So we start to habitually eat these foods mistaking them to be pleasurable when in fact in the long term, will cause us pain.

4) Mistaking the non self as the Self

We get very caught up in our roles and identities. If I asked you “Who are you?”, you most likely will respond with an identity you associate with, for example, “I am a female, I am a teacher, a wife, a mother, a yogi… and so on…” We get caught up in our identities as though they ARE us: Our jobs, our likes/dislikes, our clothes as though all these things define us. I love the quote from the film ‘Fight Club’ where Tyler Durden says “you’re not your job. You’re not how much money you have in the bank. You’re not the car you drive. You’re not the contents of your wallet….” This is exactly what Patanjali is saying here. We mistaken our Self (true identity) with the non self – all these layers of identities of who we think we are! Underneath all these layers though, is the Self.

So who are you beneath all your layers? Without your job? Your possessions? Your hobbies and achievements?

Get in touch with your eternal Self by stripping down the layers of your outer identifications.

What’s the first step?
The first step to get out of your suffering is to acknowledge yourself as the person responsible for your life – for the world you inhabit. Acknowledge yourself as the doer.
Now start to look at the false perceptions you carry about yourself. Do an observational check…
What false perceptions of yourself do you carry?
What ignorance (avidya) do you hold about “the kind of person you are”?

Next time you catch yourself saying “that’s the way I am” or “that’s not my kind of thing”…consider if that way of speaking or thinking really helps you discover the path to Samadhi – who you really are. Your true nature.

“Unreal cognition (ignorance), avidya, is the central foundation of all suffering” – Sri Brahmananda Sarasvati